C A R L B. G A R N E R

HOW'S THAT AGAIN?

Children often say the funniest things. They hear words in sermons, songs and stories, not understanding all of them. Their perception of the words often comes out all wrong, but that's what makes them so funny.

The following statements could have been made by our own children:
€ Jesus chose 12 possums, and one of them was Matthew, a taxi-man.
€ Epistles are wives of the apostles.
€ Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.
€ Moses got the ten amendments at Mount Cyanide.
€ A Christian should have only one wife; this is called monotony.
€ King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 porcupines.
€ Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

If you will notice, all of these are close enough that they sound right, or at least they sound right to eight-year-olds. But even though they sound right, and even though they are cute, they do not accurately reflect the words found in the Bible. There were no "amendments," and no "porcupines." Joan of Ark lived a few centuries later, and I don't know what Lot's wife was like by night. Many read their Bible just like these children misread theirs. It may or may not be intentional. It may sound good at first misreading, but still, it is not an accurate reflection of what the Bible says. Consider the following Bible "misquotes."

GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD
THAT HE WILL SAVE EVERYONE
There are many who misread John 3:16 in this way. They begin with a misunderstanding of the true nature of God, thinking His love will overlook sin and disobedience. He loved Moses, but did not ignore Moses' sin, Numbers 20:11f. He loved Adam, but did not overlook Adam's sin, Romans 5:12. He loves us, but His only begotten Son said, "Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God." John 3:5. No, God's love does not mean all will be saved, but He "is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance," 2 Peter 3:9.

HE THAT BELIEVETH AND
IS NOT BAPTIZED SHALL BE SAVED
This verse is found in the minds of many people today; or at least they think it is. But no translation of Mark 16:16 renders it thus, and the original surely does not. Some are so determined to rid their world of the necessity of baptism that they misquote the Bible in order to get it out of there. Some have literally cut it out of their Bibles. But even if it were not in Mark 16, the same thing is said in Acts 2:38, Galatians 3:26-27, 1 Peter 3:21, Romans 6:3-4, 16-18, and John 3:3-5. Using the hedge shears cannot eliminate the truth.

WIVES, SUBMIT TO YOUR OWN
HUSBANDS IF IT SUITS YOUR PERSONALITY
We know that "modern women" turn up their collective noses at the Bible mandates on this subject. But the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord," Ephesians 5:22. Notice, "as unto the Lord." There is no other way to say it: this is not an optional matter! See 1 Corinthians 11, Colossians 3, Titus 2, 1 Peter 3 and 1 Timothy 2, and you will find that no one is told to "obey God "if it suits your lifestyle."

UPON THIS ROCK I WILL BUILD MY CHURCH,
AND ALL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE WILL BE IN IT
Now this one is absurd, is it not? But it is essentially the belief of most of "Christendom" today. The "one church" of Ephesians 1:22-23, 2:16 and 4:4; 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12 and Colossians 3 is the church Jesus promised He would build; the church He "purchased with His own blood," Acts 20:28. Regarding that "one body," it is written, "He is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence," Colossians 1:18. No, the church Jesus built is not merely an amalgamation of all of the man-made churches. Neither does the term "religious" accurately describe Jesus' followers. His Church teaches His truth; was founded and purchased by Him; is named after Him; worships as His authority dictates; and is loyal and true to Him. You will find His church clearly described in the Bible.

IF A MAN PUTS AWAY HIS WIFE
AND MARRIES ANOTHER, THAT'S ALL RIGHT
Divorce is a tragic ordeal for all involved, but many still try to make it a viable and scriptural option. The misquote under consideration pretty much reveals today's view on marriage and divorce. Many of the mega-churches of today are built on the premise of attracting the divorced and the "live-ins." When someone with this view is questioned about Matthew 19:8-9 or Romans 7:1-3, they can only respond, "they are out of date," or they were "written by males who sought to keep women in bondage." But these words were spoken or written by Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul. As such they constitute "scripture," which Jesus said "cannot be broken," John 10:35. Note what Jesus said in Matthew 19:8-9, "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." No, it is not "all right" to divorce without scriptural grounds.

No, Samson did not use the Axe of the Apostles to slay the Philistines. The followers of Jesus are not called decibels. Having one wife is not monotony (Trust me).

Little children's words can be humorous, even when they are wrong. But when accountable adults "wrest" the scriptures, it's not funny; it can bring tragic results.