C A R L B. G A R N E R

'PEACHTREE TEA'

Recently a woman wrote a letter to the editor of a major newspaper in which she commented: "I don't know about impeachment, but somebody ought to take him out behind the barn and give him a good dose of peachtree tea." Depending on where you live, it might be "cedar tree tea," or "razor strap tea." But whatever the name, it refers to that most hated word, "discipline." Unfortunately, that item is not on the menu anymore, nor is it in favor with those who control our media or our schools. As a result, the fruit borne of that discipline is also not in the makeup of many of our religious and civic leaders.

Thirty years ago, a group of young people murdered several wealthy people in Beverly Hills. Charles Manson is now in prison serving a life sentence for his part in those crimes. Shortly after his arrest, a newspaper reporter interviewed Manson's mother. When asked about his years as a boy at home, she commented:
If Charles wanted anything, I'd give it to him. He never had to take a fall, not 'till he was a grown man. Everything was just handed to him, I admit it...

What about discipline? She didn't believe in administering discipline, especially corporal punishment [that's another word for "peachtree tea"]. Many in that generation received (as do many today) that kind of upbringing. They did not all turn out to be murderers, of course, but it is now admitted by most social scientists that lax discipline in the last three decades has brought about a not-too-subtle change in the fabric of the "baby boomers." We see it in the entertainment business, in sports, in education -- even in politics.

Solomon wrote the following:
"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him," Proverbs 22:15.
"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die," Proverbs 23:13.
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes," Proverbs 13:24.
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame...Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul," Proverbs 29:15, 17.
Add to these the inspired words of the apostle Paul:
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right....And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord," Ephesians 6:1-4.

We are all aware of the tragedy of child abuse so rampant in our land. Whether it is a new phenomenon or just beginning to be reported, I don't know. When in public schools I was aware of some who used poor judgment in their discipline. But is not the opposite extreme even more dangerous in the long run? The Bible certainly does not endorse child abuse, but who said spanking is necessarily child abuse? In fact, the most far-reaching and the most damaging child abuse I know is seen when parents refuse to discipline their children properly. That is exactly what God told Samuel, regarding Eli:
"I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not," 1 Samuel 3:13.
What was Eli's iniquity? "He restrained them not." That, my friends, is real child abuse. And it is seen in virtually every segment of our modern society. It is so much easier, some believe, to just let them have their own way. "Don't warp his personality." They don't even treat their garden like that, but they "must let each child's mind develop on its own"? If that's wisdom, I'm a monkey's uncle.

Discipline that has a positive effect on a child's life will be:

€ Administered in LOVE. Children are smart enough to know the motive behind our actions. If they know love is the motive, they will learn from the experience.
€ CONSISTENT. Parents who are consistent in administering discipline can rear children who are well balanced and well behaved.
€ FAIR. When a parent is not fair in discipline children are confused and frustrated. Always make sure the punishment fits the crime.
€ SWIFT. Any punishment should be administered swiftly, in close proximity time-wise to the violation of the rules. See Ecclesiastes 8:11.

Each child may respond to correction in a different way, but a sensitive parent will soon know which discipline is best for each one.

Have you seen the following?
Junior hit the meter man; Junior bit the cook
[Junior's anti-social now, according to the book].
Junior threw his socks and shoes out into the rain.
[Negation – that's normal – disregard the strain].
Junior made the baby cry, dropped him on the floor.
[Notes on self-assertiveness are found in chapter four].
Junior whittled Grandpa's cane, and Grandpa spanked him sore.
[Grandpa's read the Bible since 1894].

God said of Abraham: "I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord," Genesis 18:19. How precious are our children! So precious that we must discipline them so that they will be able to discipline themselves. They can then enjoy the "abundant life" Jesus promised, John 10:10. Why not try to be a whole lot more like Abraham, and a whole lot less like Eli. Your children will thank you for it some day, I promise.